For anyone who has ever traveled to India, particularly any Indian tourist sites, I’m sure you’ll agree with the title and content of today’s post.
Despite being here on the basis of work, I’ve had the opportunity to see some sites in and around Bangalore. Though, as I admitted in my last post, it is difficult for me to get up and leave Bangalore for more than a few days at a time. This is because the planning that occurs for the interviews I’ve been doing always happens last minute. The second someone agrees to meet you, there are no questions asked and you just kind of have to roll with it. So I’m always scared to leave for too long out of fear I’ll miss an opportunity to do an interview. Even though this has caused me to miss out on at least one fun weekend while being here. And the interviews I had scheduled that weekend ended up being postponed last minute anyway. That’s field work for ya though.
Anyways, getting back to monkeys, the point is, I’ve been doing as many day trips as possible because there are tons of things you can see in just one day around Bangalore.
This past Saturday, I went to see an old hill fortress called Nandi Hills. It has an elevation of 1,478 m according to Wikipedia. Because of this, when you’re at the top of the hill, it looks like you’re walking among the clouds. It was so beautiful. It was also especially cool Saturday because it was a super rainy day. The clouds were dark and the whole feeling on the hill was really ominous and made it even more interesting in my opinion.
But do you know what I am not interested in? Monkeys. Not at all. And we had a terrifying run-in with them.
So first, here’s a little background on monkeys in India. You should know that it’s really only when you go into villages that you start to see them. On occasion, I’ll see them in the city, but it’s pretty rare. And since most of these touristy things are located in village areas, monkeys are usually hanging around.
Also, monkeys are stupidly intelligent. They not only have opposable thumbs but also a brain capacity beyond that of most animals. And I partially think that they find their way to these sites because of the flocks of humans there that they know they can harass. For this reason, I am terrified of monkeys. Not only are they are animals that are possibly just as smart as me, but they’re also way more aggressive.
So one of the girls who came with me to Nandi Hills had a bag of bananas with her. You can probably foresee how terribly this is going to go. Anyways, we were walking back from a lookout point along a narrow pathway when all of sudden, probably ten monkeys appear out of nowhere. I’m not sure exactly how many were there because I had to time to count. I kicked into survival mode.
From the few monkey encounters I’ve had in the past, I’ve learned you just have to walk fast straight past them. The second you hesitate, they close in on you. They can smell fear. To those of you in Canada whose impressions of monkeys are based only on the monkeys you see in storybooks or on tv, you might think I am overreacting. But I swear monkeys are not the cute creatures we’ve grown up thinking them to be.
So my first instinct is to get as far away from the bananas as possible. So I run away from them, leaving my friend alone to fight for herself. I am a good friend. But as I’m running away from the monkeys, walking past them without making any eye contact, I hear them hissing at me! Then I notice their evil little feet appear right beside me. I was sure they were going to start climbing on me and I would have probably just frozen in terror.
But eventually they left me alone and headed towards their true target: my friend who still has the bananas. Can I also note that the bananas are in a bag at this point and they STILL knew they were there?? Maybe they saw her eating one before or something, but still, they are too smart.
Anyways, from far away I try to guide her through the pack of them. But after one of them starts tugging at her bag, she finally just drops it and leaves it for them. The monkeys had won this fight.
It was honestly one of the most terrifying moments of my life. And I’m not just saying that for dramatic effect. Point is, if you can, avoid monkeys in India at all costs. And because that’s going to be impossible to do, at least avoid going anywhere near them with a bag of bananas.
Meanwhile, i’ll be coming up with a survival plan for the day Planet of the Apes becomes a reality.
Tireless Rambling 